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I stand in the river of Time, where the source is everywhere and the end is everywhere...
Since having started my new job, I've noticed the strange progression of time. I wake up Monday and then I wake up Saturday. I've started telling myself that Monday is Saturday and that Saturday is Monday. I've always had this feeling that time is irrelevant and that with a twist of the mind, you can do away with it. Maybe it's the extreme routine that is making this feeling more prominent: Days are beginning to look so alike that it's natural for my mind to morph them into one. I sit at my computer today, remember sitting at my computer last week, and remember thinking back to sitting at my computer the week before and on and on - nothing seems to have changed. I've never been so aware of this passing of time and how fleeting everything is. It's a double-edged sword though. If I'm in a meeting, I know it will end, so I don't worry. But if I'm watching a film, I know it ends, so I'm sad.
Another reason I may have become more aware of this is that I have so many things to worry about, that I don't worry so much. The mind is layered and beyond each worry there is another; under each concern lies another; behind each joy lies another. So with the increase in burden comes a de-sensitization to burden and with this comes a feeling of equanimity that results in a morphing of time and events...If I approach things in this same way, wherever I am and whatever I'm doing, I'll feel a consistency that will cause past/present/future to morph into one time...Maybe that's what I'm feeling. Or maybe I drink too much green tea!
With a dream-like Aphex Twin tune in the background and the windows open, it's Haiku time again:
Time's not square
Today here.
Tomorow there-
What color was the sky?
posted by PA on Saturday, December 04, 2004
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