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I've found the way!
Yes, you may think that title is a bit lofty, but I think I've got it. Right, what you do is this:
Do Zazen every morning for 30 minutes followed by 2 hours of yoga. After that you have a sandwhich full of healthy vegetables. Let your food digest a little (you can listen to a podcast whilst you wait) and then do 30 minutes swimming followed by 10 minutes in the jacuzzi and 5 minutes in the steam room. After this, take your time getting changed and maybe apply a little fuzzy peach cream to your body. In the afternoon watch a little bit of a lighthearted dvd and then restring your guitar - it's best to restring than just play your guitar because there's a feeling of accomplishment at having restrung your guitar, plus new strings sound so nice - then try and write a song. If you can't, just give up. In the late afternoon have a little doze.
In the evening, go to a temple and do some more Zazen. Meet some friends and drink a little wine. Have dinner and then watch the news. Sleep and repeat until you start to get really old. If you find yourself becoming really, really old, just die. If not, carry on a little bit longer and avoid GameCube games that are too exciting.
CAUTION: Above all, do not work in an office where you sit down for 9 hours looking at a computer screen and breathing in CO2.
Today's yoga was ace. There was lots of leg-wrapping-contortion going on and I even managed the full lotus. Once you'd achieved the full lotus you had to raise yourself off the ground with your arms. No-one could do it, so the teacher just laughed. I like yoga. I think it got me into Zazen. At the end of the session back at uni, we used to have 5 minutes meditation lying our backs. It gave me my first taste of meditation: You close your eyes and the teacher guides you soothingly as you try and drift away into a relaxed zone. I remember really liking those final few minutes of guided meditation. But nowadays I just find myself thinking, "no, don't go into your cave! Stay here!" What a bloody dooshbag, I am! Next time, not only will I go into my cave, but I'll slide on the penguin's back, God dammit!
posted by PA on Sunday, November 06, 2005
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